Last night I had a dream.

It was strange, yet erotic.

My spouse had turned into a large looming man with long blond hair. It was rumpled, yet stylish in an unkept sort of way.

He was strong, male, powerful, and intimidating priest or shaman of something. The only clear part of the dream is where he leans forward, looming over me, places both of his hands on wall behind me to hem me in and say forcefully:

I am you husband and you WILL pleasure me again.
You can enjoy it or not.
Decide soon.

Then he swept off to handle something, leaving me breathless and torn.....I knew that I loved him and wanted to pleasure him again, but I also felt compelled to resist being ordered on anything.

I suppose this is much the result of the fantasy novels I've been reading with their wars, priests, fairy fold etc. But who knows. I tell you, just writing about it makes me breathless, though. It calls me wonder if I 'secretly' feel that forcefulness is lacking in my own relationship. Is that where the wolf theme comes in? Is that why I seem loath to push it away? Is it that I truly relish the fear it spawns at a deeper, more primeval level? Perhaps if I just share with my spouse my masochistic tendencies it will vanish? (personally I tend to think there is a little more to it than that...) but maybe I'm just making it more complicated to avoid sharing that side of myself....?

Maybe these strong dreams, the ones that reveal the truth of me are what I should create stories around. Maybe that is what so many of the silly fiction writers mean when they say "I don't know where this character is taking me."

Even though these characters are new to me though, I still know them intimately. I can't imagine that I wouldn't know where they are going per se, since I know their every thought, idea, tendency. It is as if I have a special secret telepathic line into their being so how could I now KNOW them?